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    This does not just mean I want to fuck them; indeed, sex is often a hard limit for me during intense play.Connection to me means that we are both authentic and present in the moment.I can be a bit of an exhibitionist, and I’m a performer by trade, so I understand the appeal and love to play in public.I sometimes Top as “Evil Betty Crocker” because I like fucking with gender norms, and the character is fun to inhabit, especially with certain play partners.

    I prefer to play someone, not just function as a masturbatory accessory for their ego, or vice versa. Do you have a need to control your partner(s) exposure to anyone but you?

    I notice if you use gendered language to derogatorily refer to those who won’t fuck you or play with you or coddle your ego. If you derive your self worth primarily from your perceived position on the bell curve, you’re in for a rude awakening.

    I hear you dismissing femme/femme scenes as amateurish, or making “jokes” like “there’s no such thing as a Fem Domme, just a female submissive who hasn’t met the right Man yet.” I see you shrugging off so-called “minor” consent violations as “jeez the wimmins are so sensitive it’s like you can’t even talk to them anymore without getting accused of harassment.” I notice, I hear, I see, and I am not impressed. There’s always going to be someone younger, hotter, fresher, more skilled, less skilled, older, more experienced, less experienced, safer, more dangerous…I’ve been in the scene for a decade, and I’ve learned a fair amount. The only thing I truly know is that I don’t know what I don’t know.

    Connection doesn’t require a high-maintenance relationship- there can be a wonderfully intimate connection in casual play.

    Connection can be hard to articulate, but you know it when you see it, when you feel it.

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